


you make me weaker yet stronger at the same time

by futurefishes



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I love them so much, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Nightmares, Yuuki is mentioned, anyway this is mostly pure fluff and the boys being in love i hope you enjoy, because the situation with yuuki is mentioned and talked about, mafuyama gives me strength, no beta we die like men, not too deeply tho no worries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 16:28:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21121787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futurefishes/pseuds/futurefishes
Summary: Uenoyama’s breath is fanning Mafuyu’s red hair as he speaks. “Do you want to talk about it?”He thinks about it for a moment; despite being awake now, he can still see and feel everything so clearly. He can still feel himself scream and still feel the guilt that started building inside of him ever since that day and probably always be a part of him and-“No,” Mafuyu sniffles, shaking his head as best as he can while being pressed tight against Uenoyama’s chest. The arms around him draw tighter. “Please just hold me.”Mafuyu has a nightmare and Uenoyama holds him.





	you make me weaker yet stronger at the same time

**Author's Note:**

> heyyo!  
this is my first given fic! i'm so excited! i've completely fallen head over heels for this manga/anime and mafuyama,,,,,,,,,, i love all 4 boys so much. protect them.  
thank you for checking this fic out! i hope you'll enjoy it! 
> 
> title from marutsuke, the ending song for the anime!

Mafuyu wakes up with a start.

His breathing is heavy as he look around the room, trying to get used to the night's darkness. It takes a while for his eyes to get used to the absence of light, but eventually, he can make out the interior of his boyfriend's bedroom.

Ah, right. As soon as practice was over, he had asked Uenoyama if he could stay the night. It had made the taller boy flush a vivid red, despite all the many times that they’ve slept over at each others homes. In the beginning of their relationship, the sleepovers had mostly been out of convenience - when practice ran late, it was always easier to just crash at Uenoyama's - but nowadays, there are no real reason for them; Mafuyu just finds himself yearning to spend time with the dark-haired guitarist outside of school and practice. 

And Uenoyama seems to be of similar thoughts. Despite his shyness at the question, Mafuyu could see the way his eyes lit up as they went off the train and started walking towards the Uenoyama residence. Their hands had been tightly intertwined, and Mafuyu can still feel the way Uenoyama's thumb had traced circles on the front of his hand. 

They hadn't done much when they arrived to their destination; they had both taken a shower before cuddling up in the taller boys bed. They had shared kisses and soft whispers for a while before they both had decided that it was time to go to sleep. Mafuyu had moved down to the futon on the floor while Uenoyama had stayed in his soft, warm bed. 

Mafuyu glances up towards Uenoyama's bed. He can make out the frame of him over the edge of the bed, and he can hear his even and deep breaths. Uenoyama is still asleep.

Mafuyu doesn’t know whether he’s relieved or not.

It wasn’t like the nightmares came often anymore - it had been much worse the weeks following the funeral - but that didn’t mean they were any less horrifying. 

It’s always the same. It always starts with him not getting a hold of Yuuki, and then deciding to go to his place. He can still see himself, as from above, as he in the dream enters the apartment and moves towards the door, calling his lover's name but not getting an answer back, opening the door only to find him- 

“Mafuyu?”

The red-head turns towards the source of the voice. Uenoyama is sitting up now, awake. His eyes are half-closed - he’s obviously still parting with sleep - but they seem to clear once he notices the state Mafuyu is in. 

“You’re crying”.

Uenoyama isn’t wrong. He hadn’t noticed when it happened, but Mafuyu is crying freely now, the tears streaming down his cheeks. He tries to open his mouth to speak, to explain, but all that comes out is a sob. His boyfriend’s face grows even more worried.

“Mafuyu,” Uenoyama starts, moving towards the edge of his bed and reaching his arm out towards his crying boyfriend. “Come here.”

Mafuyu doesn’t hesitate in taking his hand, and within seconds, he’s lying next to Uenoyama, just like he had a few hours ago. His boyfriend moves to put the blanket on them both, before he pulls him into an embrace. Mafuyu let’s another sob escape his body as he curls closer into the hug, his own arms holding tightly onto Uenoyama’s warm body. 

Uenoyama’s breath is fanning Mafuyu’s red hair as he speaks. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He thinks about it for a moment; despite being awake now, he can still see and feel everything so clearly. He can still feel himself scream and still feel the guilt that started building inside of him ever since that day and probably always be a part of him and-

“No,” Mafuyu sniffles, shaking his head as best as he can while being pressed tight against Uenoyama’s chest. The arms around him draw tighter. “Please just hold me.”

“Of course, love,” Uenoyama replies, and Mafuyu feels warmth in his chest from the pet name. His boyfriend is usually very shy when it comes to romantic stuff, but he’s getting better, and nothing makes Mafuyu’s heart beat quicker than seeing him try so hard for him. 

The only sound in the room for a few moments is the sound of Mafuyu's sobs and the ticking from the clock (_the same one Yuuki had, Mafuyu remembers, which makes him sob more)_. The hand on his back never stops moving, drawing circles in a soothing motion. Uenoyama tries to pull Mafuyu even closer against him, as if he wishes he could take away his pain with his touch. 

“You know, Mafuyu,” Uenoyama begins, his voice low and thoughtful as he thinks of the right words to say. “I’m not going to pretend to know what you’re going through. I can never imagine the pain you must feel, or how much it hurts… But I want you to know that despite that, I’m here for you.” Uenoyama presses a kiss to Mafuyu’s forehead. It tickles. “If you ever want to talk about it or just let it all out, I’m here. If you ever feel like crying, I’m here. I guess what I’m trying to say is that… I’ll do my best, even if it won’t be enough.”

Mafuyu’s breath gets caught in his throat as Uenoyama speaks, and he moves to break away from the embrace, just so he can meet his boyfriend’s blue eyes. Despite the darkness, he can see the emotions in them clear as day; there’s an ache there, ache because Uenoyama can’t help his pain go away. But there’s also determination. And adoration.

Adoration for _him. _For _Mafuyu_. 

God, Mafuyu _ loves _ him.

(He never thought he would feel love again, but he does he does _ he does _).

A sob passes through the red-head again. “Thank you, Ritsuka-kun.”

Uenoyama is still not used to his boyfriend calling him by his first name, and he’s just about to turn into a flustered mess, when Mafuyu press their lips together. 

It's soft and sweet, more a press of the lips than anything, but it makes Mafuyu's heart swell and stutter in his chest. 

When they pull away, they gaze at each other for a few more seconds, before their lips pull into small smiles. The atmosphere in the room has changed into something lighter;

-It feels safe. It feels like coming home.

Uenoyama sighs and moves to lay down properly on his back again. Mafuyu can see the pink in his cheeks. "Let's go back to sleep."

Despite the tears he can still feel sticking to his eyelashes, Mafuyu can feel his lips form a teasing smirk. Uenoyama's eyes widen at the sight. "Ritsuka-kun wants to sleep with me?"

The black haired boy stutters, his eyes moving away from Mafuyu, as if looking away manages to hide his now red-flushed face. "Shut up. Of course I do… A lot, actually."

For a moment he's speechless at the cute scene in front of him, but before long Mafuyu lets out a small breath and sighs contently. He puts his head on Uenoyama's chest and cuddles up against him. "Me too."

Uenoyama hums. The arm around Mafuyu tightens and a kiss is pressed into his hairline. "Mm. Love you, Mafuyu."

"Love you too, Ritsuka," Mafuyu mumbles against his chest. Soon enough, he can feel his boyfriend's breaths even out once more, and he's asleep.

Mafuyu smiles against his chest. While the horrible fear from the nightmare still lingers somewhere inside him, it's overshadowed by the love and safety he feels from being in his boyfriends arms. It's comfort. 

It's home.

Mafuyu sleeps soundly for the rest of the night, wrapped up warmly in Uenoyama's embrace. 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for any grammar/spelling errors!
> 
> come scream at me on twitter @ jeonghooons!!!


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